GRATITUDE

As most of you know two years ago today Lori had her surgery to remove her tumor and kidney.
Today has been a very emotional day for me as I have replayed the events in our life with Lori's sickness.

It all started when I took the girls in to our Dr. They both have been sick. Dr. Satay had a student with him (Katelyn). As he was examining Lori her scar came up of course. We told Katelyn about it. He said when was her surgery again. After I told him it was exactly 2 years ago today, I once again told him Thanks You. Thanks for listening to your feelings. Because of him we were able to catch things early. We feel blessed having him in our lives. (He knows he has to move with us when we leave)

We feel so blessed to have insurance, PPO insurance, Zack had a job, GREAT Doctors, all of our family and friends. Knowing our Father in Heaven knows us and loves us.

As I think of the events two years ago I remember holding Lori until she had to go in. Her first nurse gave her a white stuffed animal cat. We played in a waiting room for awhile. Then we went up stairs to the prep surgery room. I remember she did not want to take the medicine she needed to relax her before they put her in surgery. Zack and I told them give it to us. Zack held her down and I put it in her mouth. The Dr. said they wish there were more parents like us.
She went into surgery waving at us as she went in.
Mom Barlow came and was at the hospital with us. Dad and Mom Bird were at our house with Ty.
Zack, Mom and I were waiting in the waiting room. I could not eat, drink or anything. I know this sounds funny but I was paying bills while I was waiting. I knew I would not be home for a while and then I would not want to do it later.
About 1 1/2 hrs. went by and we had not heard, then finally it came. Our fear came true Lori's tumor was cancerous. They went back into surgery to remove her kidney. Her tumor was right in the middle of it. It again seemed like forever until we saw her and held her as she woke up. I remember looking at Zack and I was crying after we found out the tumor was cancerous and wondering why her. Zack looks at me and said do you remember we knew this is what was going to happen. I said yes but it does not make it any easier.

They brought a crib in for Lori to slept in. I told them NO WAY I wanted a twin bed. We got it and Lori and I were there together for the next week. I slept there every night with her. Zack slept at the Hotel. Thank heavens for Zack's discount. I'd go back to the hotel during the day and shower, breath and come back. I was suppose to sleep but I never could fall asleep. My mind was always on Lori and my little man at home.
As I think of the week I think of many things, (you might laugh at me)
I remember Mom Barlow coming a lot to relieve Zack and I. She was there when Lori had a CT scan, when Zack and I had to go to class for cancer parents. (we did not want to leave Lori alone) Dad Barlow and Rachel came, Dad brought me a 32oz. Pepsi, (it was great) he also made Chocolate Chip Cookies (at the hospital) for all of us and our nurses. It smelt good!
Shelly and Mom Bird came baring gifts. I remember Alisa bringing me lotion, toothpaste and brush and Mary Kay so I could have at the hospital. My family also brought me a sweat shirt, and pillow. Lori took over the one I brought for me. I think it was a comfort to her. We had our DVD player with TONS of movies. We watched alot.
Brock came a lot. I remember him there when the therapy dogs came in. Also he was there the day Lori could walk around and play in the courtyard. Dad and Mom Bird came with Ty. Lori was so excited to see her brother. They just sat there on the bed holding hands all night. Mom Bird helped me wash Lori's hair. When they left it was very hard for all of us.
We had Dodger ticket so Brock took Ty.
We had many classes and learned lots. We also found out what Lori would have during chemotherapy. I was sad but not surprised. Lori got a picc line.
On Saturday Zack went home and coached his last basketball game of the season for Ty's team. Then they went to Ty's soccer game. Mom Bird and Shelly then went home. Ty came back with Zack and spent the night at the Hotel. He thought it was great.
Corrine came up and took Ty on Sunday to walk around the Temple and saw some movies.
Lori loved when her family came to visit. One of her favorite visits was when her cousins Anna and Carly came. They brought her a bracelet and other things. They were so cute when they came. You could tell Rachel and McKay had talked to them about Lori and things to be aware of. McKay had been there earlier that week so told the girls not to stare at her stomach etc. Anna did not want to touch Lori or see her stomach, Carly wanted to see everything.
The best part of that day was we about 6pm we found out we got to go home.
During the week we also got many phone calls from all of our family out of state.

During the next several months we of course were so blessed. A few things I remember right now.
Many Many gifts from ward members, friends and family. Lori got many packages in the mail.
We had a nurse come in and teach us about the picc line.
Mom Barlow and Mom Bird came and helped. Mom Barlow came once and week and watched Ty while we went to Children's Hospital. She cleaned my house every week. Brock came before his mission and visited a lot. Lori could not go outside and people could not come in. Family could. I did more laundry than normal. Rachel brought the girls out to play. She also made MANY frozen dinners for us. Many trips to LA. My friend Julie Creel watching Ty every week and more when I was in LA. My friend Andrea coming with me to LA.
Many have help with finances. THANKS!!!!
There were so many acts of serves to our family.
Zack and I feel so overwhelmingly blessed. (if that makes sence) We love each one of our family members and friends they have blessed our lives. We are so grateful and appreciative to everyone.
WE LOVE YOU!!!
I know this is long. I am using this as my journal entry.

Lori and Ty about 3 days into her week at Children's Hospital
Lori and Dr. Shaul (her surgeon)
I look funny! Ty did not want to go home with all of us. He had a hard time saying good-bye. I remember Lori saying "Ty it is going to be okay I still love you".
Lori and Dr. Marco (cancer Dr.)
Lori getting one of her chemo treatments. She was so brave!